Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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