we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If I die, sorry about rent.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
