I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I looked at my own cervix.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
pray to the hookup gods
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
