I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
