I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
