sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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