I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
