Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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