There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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