3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
