apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just found puke in my bra..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
