My first STD was from a foam party
I CAN MOONWALK!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
