Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
