She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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