Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
