Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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