Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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