Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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