I just saw a hot homeless man
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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