when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This baby is an asshole
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
