Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
