Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
