Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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