I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
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I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
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This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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