his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
should my penis look like a turkey
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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