i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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