We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
