Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
