google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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