the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
