I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up under a house in Key West
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