Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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