you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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