just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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