I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
