did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
