Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
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Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
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thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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