Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
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I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
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The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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