well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
