she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
