i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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