Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
