Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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