I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
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She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I fill condoms, not promises.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
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I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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