We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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