For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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