Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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