Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
