dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
