Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
