I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
