Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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