yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
