We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
