please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
