I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Sober January is a disaster.
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i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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