there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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