She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
