So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My ass is underappreciated
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
